Archive for July, 2011


STUPID GRAVITY!

My phone (which I haven’t lost for four months and counting) is now broken thanks to the stupidest thing on earth, GRAVITY! Although gravity isn’t really on earth, it’s kinda in it… whatever. Who says everything has to fall as soon as you drop it? That Fig Newton guy who got hit in the head with an apple? I’ll tell you what, my life would be a whole easier if the laws of gravity didn’t exist. Probably a lot more fun, too. Just imagine if you could float like you’re swimming no matter where you are. Those astronauts sure seem to be having a good time. Taking a shower would be pretty hard, though. More baths for me! It’s a little gross when you think about it, washing yourself in your own filth. At least there’s bubbles! See, they don’t have to follow the laws of gravity. That’s why they’re awesome. (* ) <-bubble. DON’T POP IT! bye.

Ciao! You know, I always thought that just meant good-bye, but guess it’s kinda like aloha where it means hi and bye. In Hawaiian, it also means love, but ciao doesn’t. (btw the first ‘ciao’ in this post meant hello, even tho you already knew that. 🙂 Speaking of which, I have always wanted to go to Italy. The food, the sights, the clothes… even Italian NAMES sound awesome! Seriously, they all sound like pasta, which is my FAV food. You just can’t beat spaghetti and garlic bread- unless it’s with PIZZA, another Italian food! Although it has to be paired with a root beer float to beat noodly, marinara-drenched heaven. Usually I would include meatballs, but does anyone really know what meat goes in them? Honestly, I don’t want to know. It’s like asking what hot dogs come from. Ick.

Anyway, what I was trying to get to was my list of words too hard to say without laughing. If you can make it through the list with a frown, then you have some serious problems. I know I already make too many stupid lists, but here’s another one:

1. hodgepodge: mixture. In context, it’s not that funny, but alone I can’t help but giggle.

2. perturb: disturb. Hey, they rhyme! Heehee.

3. geezer: elderly person. There is no right way to spell it. That’s what’s makes it hilarious.

4. defenestration: to throw somebody out a window. When you first see the word, you think it has nothing to do with the meaning. But sure enough, when you look it up, that’s exactly what it says.

5. knickknack: bric-a-brac, bauble, gubbins, gewgaw, junk. I don’t think there’s a normal way to say this!

Darnet… I forgot to post about 7-11. (Look, I used numbers!) Free slurpees! Now in coffee cups. Also, only two months until 9-11! (btw, has anybody else noticed that we press those three numbers when there’s an emergency? You HAVE? Oh.) ALSO, I was trying to decide if those anime shows with the really messed up plots are considered geeky or cool. I’m pretty sure they’re geeky, but then there’s Hello Kitty… Here’s a list you can google to decide for yourself.

1. Dragon Ball Z Kai

2. Bobobobobobo

3. Bakugan

4. Pokemon

5. Yugioh (But I’m pretty sure they added something on to it by now.)

6. HELLO KITTY! :X3 (that’s a messed up cat)

That’s right… my post is now in the 8th dimension! I wish. That’s one of my nerdy wordies. (And no, I’m not doing that thing couples do where they go, “I lovey wovey you, my darling warling!” I hatey watey that.) My nerdy wordies are words that only geeks, freaks, and meeks use. (Meeks are people that are meek. Not really, I just couldn’t think of anything. BTW dorks are completely different.) You know all those weird online games they play? This is their language.

Dimension: Seriously? Unless you say 3D, this word has no meaning whatsoever.

Realm: I guess it’s kinda like a dimension, but smaller. About kingdom-size.

Legend: Basically a story. It’s not that geeky, but beware of anything that has that in the title.

Chillax: Do I really have to spell it out for you? Fine. “Chillax. C-H-I-L-L-A-X. Chillax.” (And yes, Amanda, I know that was stupid. Deal with it.)

Stupidiot: Whoever doesn’t understand this is a stupidiot.

Ridonkulous: This is getting ridonkulous.

that’s all I can think of right now k bai!

rawr. Welcome to this week’s edition of “how to tick off a telemarketer!” I didn’t want to include this in my last post two minutes ago cuzit was already way too long. Anyway, let’s start with Verizon wireless! We subscribe to AT&T, but they still call us every freaking month to let us know about their new phone package! I wonder how many minutes they rack up calling us? I sure hope they don’t have an unlimited plan! My family isn’t on the do not call list because doing what I’m about to do provides hours of free entertainment (30 seconds at a time, of course).

“Oh, the phone is ringing. I wonder who it might be?”

“Let’s check  the callerID!”

 “Verizon wireless? But I thought we subscribed to AT&T.”

“We do! Watch this: Hola!”

“Hello, ma’am, my name i-”

“No habla espanol.”

“Oh, um, that means… you-”

“No habla espanol.”

“You don’t speak spanish… well, uh, I’m speak-”

“No habla espanol.”

“I’m-”

“Bye-bye now.” (hang up)

Next up, we have Bank of America! Since my step-dad works at Chase, we have an account there. Not Bank of America. Why they keep calling us we’ll never know.

“Oh, looks like another telemarketer on the phone. This one is from Bank of America. Hello?”

“Hi, I’m Howard from Bank of America. I was wondering if you would like to open an account with us today.”

“Oh, I’d love to, but I’m kind of busy right now. Could you give me your home phone so I can call you later?”

“Sorry, I’m not really… I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? Do you not want to be bothered at home by a random stranger?”

“Um, yeah, I guess so.”

“Bingo!” (hang up)

Listen, I know that this is just their job, but sometimes it gets really freaking annoying so I want to make sure we feel the same way on both ends. Also, I’m a minor. What business do they have calling me for a stupid phone package? Anyway, that’s all we have time for! Ciao!

Hello. Howdy. Hola. Aloha. Ni hao. Greetings. Salutations. Sup. There’s lots of ways to say hi (although salutations sounds like you’re saying bye), but only one way to say MR. PIPPENPADDLOPSOKOPOLIS! Lemme esplain. My friend and I were talkin bout all those awesome T.V. shows that were on when we were little (TELETUBBIES  RULE!) and so I started wikapediying stuff and I found that only the shows I didn’t like were still on. Like Avatar. It doesn’t make any sense unless you start from the VERY BEGINNING so last week I started watching every episode in order and it’s actually kinda cool. and confusing. LIKE TELETUBBIES!!!!! but not as awesome. My favrit character is this cabbage guy who always gets his cabbage destroyed! :{ Anyway, my favrit episode is the king of omashu (it’s all in this weird chinapanese world where certain people can control certain stuff like air, water, earth, and fyre. they’re kinda born with it but they kinda hafta learn it too. it’s weird.) cuz of Mr. Pippenpaddlopsokopolis. He’s really this airbender named Aang who’s the avatar (that’s alotta A’s!) and he’s gotta sneak into this one city so he disguises himself as Mr. Pippenpaddlopsokopolis. Ees reely funi. OH I ALMOST FORGOT there’s the cabbage guy in this episode 2. No, I don’t have bad grahamr, he’s in it 2 times. (Technically three, but he don’t gots no kabajez the third time. also he sez OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! an that’s not nice.) You can looks it up on nicktoons BUT NOT CARTOON NETWORK! Dey ees stupid-heads! K bye. (or should I say salutations?)

OH OH OH OH OH PICKMEPICKMEPICKME!!! I almost forgot this:

list of all shows awesome:

1. Teletubbies

2. Lizzie McGuire

3. Bear in the Big Blue House

4. American Dragon: Jake Long

5. PB & J Otter

6. The Wild Thornberrys

7. Jimmy Neutron (not that dumbo* show they replaced it with)

8. Phil of the Future

9. RolipoliOli

10. bobobobobobobo (look it up)

* dumbo is not a bad word because it is the title of a DISNEY MOVIE!